I was reading Anonymous Coworker today, laughing my ass off as usual, when I came upon a link that has me planning a trip to Baltimore as soon as I can. Maybe Spring Break. I absolutely must visit a brew pub that brews true cask-conditioned ales served with hand-pumps at a perfect 54F. Especially when one of those Ales is called "Oliver's Hot Monkey Love". Who wouldn't want to experience that?
Now to the OCD part of the post.
I do have mild obsessive compulsive disorder - officially diagnosed (documentation available in my FBI file through the Freedom of Information Act). I'm not an obsessive handwasher or lock-checker. I keep a lot of lists and I am a horder (no, not "whored" or "horror", although some would argue those as true also), which in my case means I keep every piece of paper that may ever have any (even remote) possibility of being useful.
I'm not all that severe with either of these unless I get incredibly stressed and they mostly relate to how I handle things at work. In fact, if I hadn't just blabbed it all over a blog, you'd probably never know.
For 2007 I'd like to embrace my compulsions. I want to use my compulsions for good, not evil. I want to make some "Happy Lists" to combat all the To Do and To Remember lists. First, we'll do the Top Five Best Days of My Life:
1. The day I rafted down the Mohican river with my brother, PWTS and my friend Marshmallow. It took over 8 hours for a four hour trip and involved the most alcohol I have ever consumed in one sitting.
2. My wedding day. I honestly would have put this first except immediately following the reception I vomited profusely and broke out in hives. Everyone was there, good vibes, lots of fun otherwise.
3. Drinking real Molson Canadian (higher alcohol content!) at a patio karaoke bar with a guy injecting profane lyrics into every song he sang on my fifth wedding anniversary at Niagara Falls. The Serial Killer Museum, a Haunted House and a hotel suite with a view of the falls made it even better.
4. Sitting in a park reading a book about gnomes with my friend Aaron on a beautiful summer day in Bowling Green, Ohio.
5. The day I was driving back from a spontaneous Athens, GA road trip with some friends. We stopped at truck stops, played pinball and generally travelled like we never had to make it back home.
If you are so inclined, please share yours.
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1. Mavis took Mohican, so I'll have to select another day: her bachelorette party. Highlights include me going to a porn store to buy cockrings while wearing my "I Heart Jesus" t-shirt (the proprieter looked painfully confused as he read my shirt and could only muster an "Um . . . okay," as if born-agains didn't have kinky sex!), seeing CHW for the first time in years, getting a cucumber facial, and snuffing the rooster (not really, but I do think I hit it) that lived on top of a garage behind Marshmallow's house with a champagne cork.
2. I should put my wedding day first, too, but it was awfully weird. My wife and I had to pass through a metal detector at the courthouse and hired a bum to be our witness. Since the particular ceremony called for me to answer "I will" rather than "I do" (and there was no practice run-through), I stumbled a bit. Then I got terribly sunburned on the first day of our honeymoon.
3. Our fifth anniversary is this July. I will look into the future and say it will be one of my best weeks ever. We're staying in the Poconos and then driving into NYC for a few days. Foodies that we are, we have already chosen two restaurants at which to eat: Norma's, the greatest breakfast joint in the world, and the Tibetan Yak in Queens, so that I can drink hot buttered tea (the world's strangest beverage) under the el while the Dalai Lama gazes at me lovingly from the wall.
4. Not really a day or a place but a state of great peace I've at times experienced in Toledo, Bowling Green, Kansas, Lakewood, and Charlotte. It occurs when a) I've discovered a new favorite author and do nothing but read from sun up to sundown or b) I do nothing at all, which is when I'm happiest.
5. Somehow I think my favorite beer should make the top five. So many candidates, though: the first beer I ever enjoyed the taste of (a Blatz) at JoJo's in Toledo, homemade brew from Buzz, my first Samuel Smith (more for the shock/joy at passing my first comprehensive than the beer itself), my first Old Speckled Hen at a bar in Charlotte, my annual Boxing Day Schlitz at the Penguin. However, the one that really sticks in my mind was the Tartan ale (shipped from Scotland in wooden casks) I had at Rough Riders, a bar that no longer exists, in Ybor City. It was so smooth I downed half my mug in one gulp and had to slow myself down so I wouldn't appear a lush in front of my aunt. I really should have taken her friend up on the hand-rolled cigar, though . . . .
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