Friday Question for June 30, 2006

There are some very serious music collectors in our crowd. And they have some strong opinions about what is good and what is not. I find I can't live up to their standards. Sometimes I like to listen to "crap". A good, cheesy pop song has its place, in my opinion.

So, the Friday Question is this:

What are your Top 5 Favorite "Crap" Music Choices? In other words, if you want to go Balls Out you listen to _________ but if you need some mind candy you listen to __________.

Here are mine, as an example. As you will see, I have no shame.

1. Barry Manilow
2. Spice Girls
3. Avril Lavine
4. Backstreet Boys
5. Justin Timberlake (Not N'Sync. They are hacks.)

The new Kelly Clarkson has given me some moments of joy recently but I'm not ready to elevate her to Spice Girls Status just yet.

Crap music choices
Lame lyrics and simple tunes
Make me feel happy

Finally, a Friday that I have a moment to pee and check my email and THERE'S NO FRIDAY HAIKU! Boo!

I have a problem.
Impulse buy. Shoes. Before work.
Bought a muffin too.

Speaking of shoes, where do all those shoes come from that are hanging from the telephone wires? I seem to see them everywhere. And when one gets so old and waterlogged that it finally falls off, another one (or two) appear a few blocks away. I'm puzzled by it, afraid, and angry. Puzzled: how do they get there? why would you throw your shoe up on a telephone wire? Afraid: I am sure one will fly off there in the wind and kick me in the face. Angry: It just makes me angry. I want to grab them and take them all down, but I'm afraid I'll get electrocuted.

Rainy Days and Wednesdays

As I sat in my office looking through the blurry glass, I realized that the sunny blue sky was starting to fade into a black vortex. Deep, dark rain clouds were blowing across the corn tops faster than a popcorn kernel in hot oil. I lept (not really, more of a scuffle) to my feet and raced for the car, determined to outrun Mother Nature.

I didn't.

The rain came down in sheets, filling up the streets like a bathtub. Tornado sirens were blaring from every direction as the lightning jolted the night-like sky back into instant day. Trees and debris covered the roads. I made it, however, and rushed into the house to towel dry while glued to the emergency broadcast signal on the TV. The screen read, "tornado warning," but the underlying music said, "booorn to be wiiiiillllddd, boooorn to be wiiilllddd, ... get your motor running (da da da da da) head out on the highway (da da da da da) looking for adventure..."

People at the Wood County Emergency Agency are idiots.

and Bad Company came on next.

Friday Question (and Haiku) for June 23, 2006

If you could create a brand new creature by combining any three creatures currently in existence (as in no dinosaurs), what three would you use? For bonus points, what would you name it?

Vacation Wrap Up

I was on vacation in Hilton Head last week, thus the lack of a Friday question. It was a very relaxing week.

I swam in the ocean a mere 15 feet away from some dolphins. I know they are kind and gentle beings but they are quite large. It freaked me out. When I got back into the office, one of my coworkers told me he heard that male dolphins have been known to molest human female swimmers. As in try to mate with them. I don't know if that's true but that freaked me out even more.

I saw an alligator swimming in a ditch. Thankfully, I was in the car at the time.

Every morning I would drink my coffee out on the deck and watch the squirrels knock each other out of the palm trees. Apparently squirrels also always land on their feet. They make quite a thud when they hit the ground too. All survived.

A 4 foot snake fell out of a tree onto the deck right next to my dad's chair. The snake survived, as did my dad. Dad is reportedly still experiencing nightmares. Surprisingly, I thought it was kind of cool.

I held a blue crab.
I ate a raw oyster and didn't puke.
I got sunburned on part of my butt cheeks because of my stupid "boy shorts" bathing suit bottoms.

And, I saw this incredibly ugly duck/chicken/turkey bird. Andy called him a "turducken" after a recipe of the same name (which is a chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey or something like that). We named him Frank. Frank is pictured above. I'm currently trying to find out what kind of bird this is. Frank was hanging out with a bunch of standard issue mallard-types who didn't seem to notice that he didn't quite fit in.

Friday Question and Haiku

Borrowing an idea from NursePez, here is your Friday question:

When you want to rock and go "balls out" while driving in the car, what CD do you play?

My answer would be Metallica "Ride the Lightening".

Haiku:
Haiku-O-Matic
When I don't feel creative
You will rescue me.

To recommend a particularly entertaining website: http://www.smalltime.com/haiku.html

And may I also add that "balls out" is one of my favorite slang terms. Which is odd because technically, I'm not able to go balls out. As in, I have no balls.

People Bug Me

I find that as I get older, I have less and less patience for people who bug me. For example, as few weeks ago I was at a acoustic performance in Ann Arbor Michigan. The artist was Glen Phillips, formerly of Toad the Wet Sprocket. As we are leaving the performance, I hear some jack ass behind me say "you know, this was fine, but the best thing I heard him say all night was that Toad is touring. His solo stuff is fine, but I was hoping for more rocking." OK, what is wrong with the statement? Two things. Number one: Acoustic shows by definition are acoustic and thus tend not to "rock". Number two: Does he even know Toad the Wet Sprocket? When I want to balls out rock with the car windows down and one hand out the window doing the devil ear sign, Toad the Wet Sprocket is not my first choice. Or my tenth choice for that matter. What an idiot. I was feeling so awesome after the show, then this guy made my blood boil. Next time dude, keep your lame self at home.

Friday Question

This week you have a choice:

What is your deepest, darkest neurosis? Or, what is the geekiest aspect of your personality?

Haiku:
Can one's head explode?
Ina gada da vida
One too many times.

(Courtesy of my friend Nikki).